Parents and Authority
Alexander Liss
The
concept of Authority permeates all aspects of life, has many facets and its use
is frequently corrupted.
Its
basis is an image of parents. The corruption of the use of Authority starts in
childhood.
Kids
perpetually observe parents behavior and this observation becomes a foundation
of their system of images organizing their perception and behavior - the
foundation of their psyche.
Nothing
could rival this Authority.
Any
revolt against parents by a kid means an immediate kid's self-destruction of
some degree: a revolt against parents is a revolt against own foundation.
Parents
know their kids because they know themselves. In addition, parents and kids
have a large similarity in bounds imposed by the biological structure of there
bodies.
Nothing
could rival this knowledge.
Every
time a kid makes parents uncomfortable, parents "fix" a kid. This
"fixing" is done automatically and largely not consciously.
Unfortunately for the kid, the fixing is done to make parents more comfortable.
Sometimes this leads to better adjustment to reality, particularly to society.
However, often, such fixing causes an establishment of limits and bounds in
kid's mind, which are detrimental to kid's future abilities to be free and happy.
Hence,
a rebellious kid, one who does not have respect for own parents, destroys
oneself and limits oneself in the process.
There
is a reason why a kid wants to challenge parents. First, there is a natural
desire to challenge own foundations to learn them. Second, kids rightfully feel
that they think, feel and move faster than parents,
hence they have an advantage, which they want to explore. The parents have more
experience, though.
In
a religious family, parents teach a kid the Authority of a Supreme Being.
Actually, this should be a step of liberation of the kid from all consuming
Authority of parents.
However,
when parents are tiered and not sure of their own Authority, they are tempted
to tie their Authority to the Authority of the Supreme Being, which is
conveniently reinforced by a culture of society.
From
the monotheistic point of view, this is a first mistake in a long chain of
mistakes associated with the concept of Authority. A person could not be a
"representative" of a Supreme Being in any way, and no person should
claim such position.
Parents
should refer to common rules governing an entire society - moral values. In a
healthy society, respect for parents in sense not putting parents in
uncomfortable position is usually among explicitly specified rules of behavior.
When
parents present their Authority as derived or reinforced by the Authority of a
Supreme Being, a kid feels overwhelmed with the suppression of doubled
Authority and no visible escape from it and rebels against both. When the culture
promotes a distributed Supreme Being, then the kid finds another form of a
Supreme Being to be the Authority. In the monotheistic culture, the kid has to
overcome mistakes of parents. A monotheistic society as a whole helps to do
that.
Such
founded concept of Authority serves as a foundation to various forms of
Authorities.
The
most powerful among them is an Authority of a Teacher. This is not a teacher
delivering knowledge in a convenient form, this is the Teacher, helping
overcome one's limitations and facilitating one's growth. In Yoga, this role is
called guru.
The
relationship between the Teacher and a Disciple could be easily spoiled. The
Teacher should not try to "shape" the Disciple according to own
understanding (nothing from the Teacher should end up in the Disciple), but
open up new choices for the Disciple. The Disciple should not see the Teacher
as someone above oneself. In the same time, the Disciple cannot challenge the
Teacher in any way, because the Teacher opens up for the Disciple an area,
where the Disciple has not even a hint of experience.
This
form of Authority could be corrupted from both ends. Hence, societies are
highly suspicious of it.
The
other form of the Authority is widely used, because it has a built-in
safeguard. This Authority comes with specialization in a society.
Conclusions
of a specialist, who have proved being honest and capable, are accepted by a
society with little scrutiny. The safeguard - they could be scrutinized at any
moment and when they are proven wrong, the specialist is "demoted"
and all relevant conclusions are scrutinized.
Even
this Authority could be corrupted. The corruption happens, when it is demanded
and accepted by a society that conclusions of a particular specialist should
not be scrutinized. This happens in areas of religious studies.
The
Authority is a reflection of a particular social organization. If a member does
not create a boundary between oneself and the society, the Authority is
accepted as something natural. When such boundary exists, because of the
problems of an individual or problems of the society, the Authority could be
questioned and possibly enforced.
When
Power comes into the play, the possibility of corruption of the Authority
grows.
There
are specialists in making decisions in highly uncertain situations. They are
leaders, commanders, managers, etc. Their Authority often carries the Power and
this kind of roles coveted by a particular type of people and they go at great
length to reach and protect such position.
Specialists
focused on activities associated with a Supreme Being - priests, religious
scholars, etc. have a perpetual temptation to present their Authority as
derived from the Authority of the Supreme Being. They rarely could resist this
temptation. Combination of the Authority of religious actors with the Power
(religious leaders of a society) is highly susceptible to corruption.
A
usurped Authority, which carries the Power, is a widely spread form of social
delusion. Methods of creation such delusion include a perpetual reinforcement
of it using various forms of fear, tying various interest to this fake Authority,
etc.
In
a monotheistic culture, there are built-in mechanisms preventing corruption of
the Authority.